The NZ government is feeling a tad miffed about Covid19, so they have a plan to fix it. Here is an early draft of a press release:
"2020 to be Cancelled.
We hope that you have enough toilet paper stored now, so that soon demand will fall to zero, and the tissue manufacturers will have to lay off staff. Then they can join the rest of us in sharing the despair and misery.
That happy thought aside, we have given careful consideration to the situation, and we have decided that it is no longer in the best interests of everyone involved to proceed with 2020.
While we recognise that a lot of hard work has gone into 2020 already, if we're honest it has turned into a bit of a shitshow. We feel it is best to just call it off.
We understand that some of you were looking forward to seeing what cruel and peculiar clusterfuck of a disaster 2020 would throw up next, but on balance we believe it is probably best not to find out.
As we wait for 2021 to commence, we will provide some advice on vegetable growing, ark building, and methods of repurposing surplus toilet paper.
Our plan is to deliver a more enjoyable year, similar to say 2011, which everyone thought was the absolute worst year of all time but in retrospect was a walk in the park.
See you next year"
Meanwhile, kiwis are trying to do their bit to save the world.