Ok, I have had some success.
I swapped back in a Siemens relay, but noticed no difference.
I wound the throttles back, disconnected choke and made sure I still had 157mv, yes I did.
I went for 1 turn out on the newly cleaned air screws.
I took off, and put back on the exhaust, I have this slight issue where the gaskets seem too thick, resulting in the crossover pipes not meeting the little nubs on the headers, but i can't compress them any more with the head nuts. Still, it all went back together.
I took off the throttle sync rod and wire brushed and oiled the slider mechanism. ( I am using a locknut on it)
I was thinking, I know what I (rightly or wrongly) want here, I want the right hand TB idle value to start off at 450mv.
I did that.
Ok got some calipers in between the right hand throttle stop plates, got 4.7mm.
I went to the left and wound the screw out to achieve 4.7mm between the throttle stop plates.
I then connected the left side of the sync rod, and hovered over the bike and carefully wound the nylon knob till the left hand side would pop on the ball joint without moving the idle off 450mv.
So I definitely had the idle at 450mv and at least the same exact gap on the right, and the rod had not altered the idle yet.
Started her up and... Running nearly balanced from the get go! Got it hot and wound it up to 3k, slightly too much air on the right, adjust the knob to perfect sync.
Back to idle and... Slightly lumpy, very slightly. I'm going to live with that and not tidy it up with the air screws.
Thank you one and all, thanks for the help