helicopterjim R.I.P.

I need to get the "Rosso Mandello" logo done so I'll try and post it when completed!

Wanted: Full Time Fluffer I wonder if Ratch has seen this add. Perhaps he is still "lurking" and may yet find this link.

It seems that someone has been checking on the Hooters thread and thought we needed this:

Not taking away from your post but I think it would be cool if we could all show our Guzzi Phantasy!! Part of mine is my avatar/tattoo!!

Has anyone had any experience with the VIBRANATOR? I know this technology should eliminate a great percentage of the vibration if tuned correctly. I think I am going to try it this year. VIBRANATOR

Yeah - I hear that a lot about the MGS-01 but then being a V11 guy I'm not normal - so I went and bought one.

Enough said!

Wise Words? "Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin'..." - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter) I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.' - Eleanor Roosevelt Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible - George Burns Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield Money can't buy you happiness.... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. - Spike Milligan Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. - Joe Namath I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. - Bob Hope I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.. - W. C. Fields We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you. - Winston Churchill Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.. - Phyllis Diller By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. - Billy Crystal And the cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out.

I hope you stay safe and sound! Mary River Flood Warning

I just heard back from a fellow with a helicopter company and he and his family are OK but he expects to be flying fodder for animals soon. He says the scale of the flood can't even be comprehended from the air even! The military will take care of the humans.

I know some pilots working in Oz if you need your bike airlifted to dry ground ....

Spear needed:

Next week; Putting the Marsh back in Marshmallow!!

You mean I can't fly? By the way - how come 2 strokes never seize when the camera is on them?

Dang! I thought it was a Guzzi served with rice instead of pasta!

From what I recall of other comparisons both not having the crossover and adding K&N's will decrease midrange and boost peak horsepower (I've seen on the Centauro forum COG where the BUB's gave a peak gain of almost 3 Hp). It would be interesting to see a dyno comparison for your set-ups! Jim PS Love the pictures - beautiful countryside there!

Twas the night before Christmas "Twas the night before Christmas, and out in my shed Sat a tired old Guzzi, its battery dead Its fenders were rusted, its floorboard had holes The seat and its stuffing had been eaten by voles The tires showed dryrot, the gas tank was leaking A turn of the bars sent the steering head creaking I put on my coat and with a weight on my heart Went out to see if I could get it to start When it finally cranked over, there arose a great clatter And I knew in a second it was Guzzi clutch chatter Then from under the tank there came a bright flash The wiring harness had just turned to ash! "I'm done with these things!" I finally swore "Enough is enough, I can take it no more!" But what then to my red, teary eyes should appear But a little Italian (damn, I need a beer!) "Buon giorno," he said (and made me all wootsie!) "You needa my help? My name? Carlo Guzzi!" "This bike can be saved, no reason to grieve, All you need is some faith in my work - please believe!" "A hammer! Some duct tape! Getta me more tools! When you work on my bikes, just make uppa da rules!" I'll get her running, and no way will she stall, (butta pleeze, pleeze - you wait out in the hall!" Then a cough! And a sputter! Then cacophony STUNNING! I couldn't believe it! THE OLD GIRL WAS RUNNING! Then the ghost said to me, kicking a tire, "You can ride any where but DON'T TOUCHA DIS WIRE!" The Old Man then vanished (amid sneezes and farts) But I saw on the floor that he'd left me some parts So I opened the shed, threw over a leg, And rode off in the night, in search of a keg! And I thought to myself (as I missed second gear!), Merry Christmas to All, and Happy New Year!" by Rick

Twas the night before Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the garage Not a Guzzi was stirring, not even a Dingo; The saddlebags were hung by the chimney with care, In hopes that St. Carcano soon would be there; The V11s were nestled all snug in their sheds, While visions of Stucchi pipes danced in their heads; And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash. The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, But a Otto Cilindri, and eight tiny pistons it was clear, With a little old rider, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Carcano. More rapid than Hondas his corsas they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name; "Now, Ambo! now, Eldo! now, Zigolo and Quota! On, Griso! on Cali! on Trotter and Astore! To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky, So up to the house-top the corsas they flew, With the saddlebags full of toys, and St. Carcano too. And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof The rumble and rocking from each little exhaust poof. As I drew in my head, and was turning around, Down the chimney St. Carcano came with a bound. He was dressed all in leather, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with rashes and soot; A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, And he looked like a biker just opening his tank pack. His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath; He had a broad face and a little round belly, That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of naval jelly. He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf, And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself; A wink of his eye and a twist of his head, Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside of his nose, And giving a snort, a booger in the chimney before he rose; He sprang to his sleigh, to his Guzzis gave a whistle, And away they all flew like the down of a thistle. But I heard him exclaim, ere he rode out of sight, "Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good ride." by Cory

Some friends of mine have been recomposing this old Christmas poem to add a Guzzi flavour. I have the first two here; perhaps I'll have more by the end of day! Enjoy!!

....and now for something completely different!

quote from wikipedia:

Sounds like me going into Tibbie Shiels pub!! The sign says "Duck or Grouse" (something to do with the door only 5'4" high).

Question: What is the best pick-up line ever? Answer: Does this smell like chloroform?