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Everything posted by helicopterjim R.I.P.
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Dementia Test
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to helicopterjim R.I.P.'s topic in Special place for banter and conversation
Now you've done it! The arguments will start and everything will spin out of control and then Jaap will have to shut it down!!! -
Dementia Test
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to helicopterjim R.I.P.'s topic in Special place for banter and conversation
They aren't cows until after they grow up. You're thinking of calves. -
Your Yearly Dementia Test : It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.. 1. What do you put in a toaster? Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else.. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2. 2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink? Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3. 3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from? Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these??? If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4. 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany ... Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany , Or no man's land'? Answer: You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question. 5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales .. In London , 17 people get on the bus. In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on. In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on. In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on. In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven .. Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver? Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!! If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you. PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!
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Need help w/ off the wall question; completely NGC
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to Skeeve's topic in 24/7 V11
If it was actually useful for something I think most of us wouldn't be here! By the way - are you upgrading to a longbow or a Mongolian composite? -
They seem to be for a twin cylinder bike.
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"The Chill" Motorcycle Show Commercial
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to Richard Z's topic in 24/7 V11
How big is the helipad? -
"The Chill" Motorcycle Show Commercial
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to Richard Z's topic in 24/7 V11
Can you get us free tickets? -
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch.. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way..I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually understood and answered me!' 'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent thoroughly educated bird'. 'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?' 'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.' 'Wow,' says the guy. 'You really can understand and speak English can't you?' 'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology...You really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.' The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag.... 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.' 'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20; just make the guy an offer!' The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational....He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..' 'What are you talking about?' asks the guy. 'When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.' 'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?' 'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the parrot. 'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?' 'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over....' Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?' 'Damned if I know. I got an erection and fell off my perch!' If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day!
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shooting politicians
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to ferguzzi's topic in Special place for banter and conversation
Hey! I resemble that remark .... -
That is one of my favourite parts as well but how will you attach the tail light, signals and licence bracket? It seems a shame to ruin the perfect lines of the bike. Perhaps a swingarm mounted bracket similar to Pierre Terblanche's treatment on the EICMA bikes?
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Is my MGS good to go for 9000? Need to know!
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shooting politicians
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to ferguzzi's topic in Special place for banter and conversation
I love ya both but someday someone should tie the both of ya by the ankles an hang ya over a clothesline and let ya sort this out! -
Now THAT is pretty!!
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Time for an update there ol' muddy man!
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Received this link today and had to share it. Neat stuff especially when you see whats parked in the shop! GEEZERS GARAGE
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You are getting some great suggestions Jaap. I like many of them and I am sure you do too but I hope you keep your choice to yourself and surprise us when the transformation is complete! Perhaps this is the time to really think original on the exhaust - something that would compare to the work of art found on the Britten! Now there is a challenge!
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shooting politicians
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to ferguzzi's topic in Special place for banter and conversation
I was contemplating starting a thread where everyone simply posted the words GLOBAL WARMING and nothing else just to see how long before Jaap pulled the plug and then I thought to myself perhaps I had better wait until his G&B kit arrives. I suspect he may be a bit preoccupied then ...... -
No snow at Olympic site leaves VANOC scrambling Contingency plan includes dumping snow from helicopters I see global warming as an opportunity - not a calamity!! Read more: CBC January 2010 in Vancouver: Warmest on Record Read more: NOW PUBLIC Sorry Jaap - I had to post it!
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Off to Vancouver for two months!
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to mznyc's topic in Special place for banter and conversation
If you do make it out the Valley I will most certainly take care of you! I promise the Z50 will be ready at a moments notice!! The MGS will be there for viewing only if good Scotch is applied and if enough is applied then I may even start it!! -
It may sound like bullshit but I had 240 km/hr indicated by the Seabird Island Indian reserve - (what? Like the cops are gonna be at an Indian Reserve?) but according to my friend on a Triumph TT600 we were only going 220. I also remember that the tachometer said about 7600 - 7800 so there may have been a bit to go with a strong bike.
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Off to Vancouver for two months!
helicopterjim R.I.P. replied to mznyc's topic in Special place for banter and conversation
Bugger! I was going to try and fool him with a tarted up Z50!! Definitely go for Cafe Calabria.