John in Leeds

Haaaaa :lol: the old jokes are still the best

Once again this man is right on the money, all of it.

Moderator spat? Nay lads, get a grip!

Oh yes!!! :lol:

VATICAN HUMOR After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb. 'Excuse me, Your Holiness,' says the driver, 'Would you please take your seat so we can leave?' 'Well, to tell you the truth,' says the Pope, 'they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today.' 'I'm sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! What if something should happen?' protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.. 'Who's going to tell?' says the Pope with a smile. Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms.. (Remember, the Pope is German..) 'Please slow down, Your Holiness!' pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens. 'Oh, dear God, I'm going to lose my license -- and my job!' moans the driver. The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio. 'I need to talk to the Chief,' he says to the dispatcher. The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph. 'So bust him,' says the Chief. 'I don't think we want to do that, he's really important,' said the cop. The Chief exclaimed,' All the more reason!' 'No, I mean really important,' said the cop with a bit of persistence. The Chief then asked, 'Who do you have there, the mayor?' Cop: 'Bigger.' Chief: ' A senator?' Cop: 'Bigger.' Chief: 'The Prime Minister?' Cop: 'Bigger.' 'Well,' said the Chief, 'who is it?' Cop: 'I think it's God!' The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, 'What makes you think it's God?' Cop: 'His chauffeur is the Pope!'

As Mad Max 3, cue Aussie accent - "the wasteland"? Now Mad Max 2, that was a movie

It's been a hard winter for some in the northern hemisphere but this was an eye opener for me On the Mongolian steppe

The Black Hand Gang

Just done mine yesterday at 15lbs standard

I know I shouldn't laugh but I just couldn't help it - top and right on the money!

2003 bike registered 2004. Original Spark battery occasionally boosted through the riding season (this bike is off the road in winter) and the battery charged then stored in the warm house till spring. Goes straight on the bike and first spins her up sans plugs to get the oil round, then always starts first time. I'll replace it when it stops taking a good charge, until then why waste the money on a new one

2003 bike registered 2004. Original Spark battery occasionally boosted through the riding season (this bike is off the road in winter) and the battery charged then stored in the warm house till spring. Goes straight on the bike and first spins her up sans plugs to get the oil round, then always starts first time. I'll replace it when it stops taking a good charge, until then why waste the money on a new one

You got me

The quote was - 'I understand there is no God' Am I infallible? No

Obviously a total fiction! Who on earth would abandon a GUZZI?

Could have been trying to get away from Ratchethack's 'Global Warming' harangue Just because I understand there is no God I don't keep banging on hyjacking similar threads to try and convince everyone that my belief is correct. Back on your question - I could just be daft enough, they (those Russian BMW copies made by Ural) look tremendous fun in difficult conditions. Unfortunately UK legislation demands the chair on the left and the production line 2wd outfits are all on the right. I took some video of the night camp but having looked at it and having been ribbed silly by my family ('you're nuts!') I'll leave it on the computer for now

Cuff him Danno! What the hell was in the boot (trunk), a rotten raindeer's head?

Had a campout last Wednesday night. Just carried my gear in the rucksack this time. Problems with bottle gas pressure in the cold but warm enough in the little tent

Things you notice when you're over 50

At least we have one soul who can tell the difference between fact and fiction 'whale placenta kaftans'? - how good is that? While I'm on is there anyone here who can tell the difference between weather and climate?

Seems to me in the issue of 'pansies' versus the (South Park) 'fags, the 'fags' are full of wind and piss. No change there then

Another bit of escapism for those who like snow Snow tractor

Well just look on the bright side, this whole month of chills will stop all those glaciers receding and the polar ice caps melting (maybe).