Frenchbob

On the back of my leather jacket, some years ago when I was young and brave: "I would rather eat worms than ride your Honda"

When I lived in Yorkshire I had a bike shed with: insulation, heating, bench, mechanic's vice, shelving, pillar drill, lathe, bike table, fridge [for the beer], compressor and several dying or dead Triumphs.....in roughly descending order of importance. Now I have a barn with Guzzis, Armstrong and chickens in it with everything else scattered around several buildings....but I'm getting there.

Looks good. Are you having the double one? Does it have any sort of lining? If not, consider lining it out with something: wood [chip-board will do nicely] or even polystyrene sheet held on by wooden battening. Your bikes will stay humidity-free if you do this, I find. Bob

That's Spain. Trust me: they don't serve petrol like this all the time.

Agreed. Also check my latest signature..........Canadian quotation! Edit: and a lot of them are French, I believe!

Ben beat me to it. I just fitted Mistrals, acting on the advice of knowledgeable people here, and they are perfect - great sound, not too loud, lovely gargle on the overrun!

Excuse me! My third place has nothing to do with any qualities my cock may or may not have [although cock-worship is something I do have to live with on a daily basis]....it is purely because I canvassed unashamedly for votes.

I'm still not fooled: I'm reliably informed that all college professors in Texas look like this.

A police friend once told me that they find that the human head comes in two basic shapes: the Arai head and the Shoei head. How they know this I've no idea but mine's definitely a Shoei head. I think I'm going to have to be a bit more adventurous than black, though, next time!

Jesus, Ben. What do you feed your dog on, Christians? Edit: substantially agree with that Ben. [Keep thinking about the half-naked girlfriends, excess cash and constant parties, though]

No worries: I'm a relativist bird-flu denier.

Think nothing of it, Darryl, and I'm just jealous of Alan Cathcart, who does write decent articles: he can do it in French as well!

Eternally grateful, Ryan. Serge likewise.

France: park where the hell you like [in Limoges, on a bike, anyway]; empty roads [in Haute Vienne, anyway], and the winter is almost over. V11 out yesterday. Five fixed speed cameras in this departement, and I know where they are. Happy! Sorry.

Told you! He's a college professor. You're a disgrace to the profession, TX. Well done!

Nogbad, have you tried Carole Nash? They were brilliant with me before I left the UK .

That's an ENGLISH helmet. And Alan Cathcart doesn't deserve your attention: he lives the life of a bohemian and knows too many influential people.

It's over-rated. Try fishing. Edit: I just tried "wet". Wet was good. Try it!

As I think I may have mentioned, I have a cock. No-one will have to: the remnants of the Hitler Youth know where you live.

Redneck Rage!..........more, please You don't fool me, TX. I know you're a college professor winding people up for kicks.

"Fetch me a cup of tea" didn't, and neither did "Polish my shoes, and do it properly this time"

Ben, I've got a pair of shorts like that. Ryan, that's really gross! I like this forum more and more..................

Being able to open even the most recalcitrant tin of dogfood at the next motorcycle camp. And yes, I'm aware that I'm a food freak/snob/junkie. I'm that sort of person. It's why I don't ride a Honda [the power of dreams, etc]. Anyway, you can never have too many knives, I find. Did you know that it's bad luck, in France, to receive a knife as a gift? When a friend, knowing my predilections, bought me the general purpose knife I commonly have about my person these days, I had to pay him 1 centime for it.

Cutting the grisly bits off coquilles Saint Jacques before frying them in a drizzle of walnut oil with lemon juice and a splash of Muscadet.

This has the ring of authenticity.