Frenchbob

Er, I think I'm far enough away from Scotland. Right. Consider: One in ten of us is gay, apparently. Most of that proportion seem to drift into acting or the entertainment business. SC is an actor... We were amazed when we found out about Rock Hudson. Draw your own conclusions, gays...I mean GUYS. Sorry, sorry.

I quite often carry a handbag.................but then I live in France. Ben should know all about this. You remember Ben: suede fringes and armpit humidity!

If I were interested in this sort of bike, I think I would like it better than a California or Harley Sportster, so I can see the attraction. But then I do my cruising on this! By the way, if anyone needs help pushing a Rocket Three off a pier, let me know....... What are you rebellin' against, Johnny? Whaddya got?

And why not? I shall be ready when I'm 70. I'm too busy now. Nah, the newer ones are woofter tackle. Try a 77-79 R80 or R100, 7 series. That's your proper BMW.

I still deal with Motomecca mail order, and I find them superb, as I have for ten years or so. They know what they're talking about on V11s as well as older stuff, and they carry an extensive stock of spares. They are enthusiasts, as well.

In France, we are lucky in this respect. It is expected that bikes will filter, anticipated, and if car drivers do get in the way, all hell breaks loose from the motorcyclists, especially in Paris, where the queues of traffic part in front of you like the Red Sea for Moses!

There is a fund of good advice contained in the posts on this thread. I would simply add: 1. In many European countries, including France, riding with headlight on is compulsory 2. Nothing beats being aware of whether the idiot in front/behind/at the side knows you're there, and even that isn't foolproof, so just assume that everyone else on the road is a total moron. It is strange how seldom you'll be disappointed. 4. Pete Roper has it right: you know why you ride, and it isn't because motorcycling is the safest human activity ever. Make a list of all the things you can do to avoid the risks and you'll soon realise that near the top is giving up motorcycling. So, most of us arrive at a compromise. I don't go out if I'm not 100% alert and fit: not if I'm tired, and certainly not if I've had even one drink [neither do I work on my bikes in those circumstances] but when I do ride, I wear black leather/jeans, black helmet and I ride as fast as I consider safe and enjoyable. Above all, I try to make every ride the most skilful I've had. Otherwise, I might as well be in dayglow nappies on a bright orange scooter with a basket on the front..........or find another pastime. As if! Ride well, guys. Edit: I don't know what happened to No. 3! Older BMW twins are great, but you have to ride one for about a month to find out why........bit like Guzzis, really.

I should hope not. There are some things you should never put down your trousers.

You've done this before, I'll guess!

Let me say here and now that if there's any innuendo about my cock I shall remove it from the forum. His name's Serge and, although elderly, he still sticks up for himself........ I DO believe the TX avatar is himself, and would like to go on doing so.

OK I'm elderly, and not infrequently inebriated, but I don't understand this avatar thing. Jaap says we can't use images from other sites [fair enough], Dave Laing stole Ben's, and that was OK, apparently, for a while. The I've noticed that some people post what are clearly their own photos as avatars. Others clearly want us to think they have, or haven't. Others have something symbolic. Personally, I'm convinced at the moment that Jaap's avatar is actually him, but am I to be disillusioned? Shouldn't people come clean about this? Are there no rules? Am I worrying unnecessarily? I mean, mine is actually me, Helicopter Jim's is clearly not him, but there's a wealth of confusion in between. In the terminal stage of cabin fever, Bob

Nightmare! Loose, wet gravel + parking speeds = £££££££ We've most of us done it. Commiserations. Don't give up on the broken pedal, though. I got a talented mate to neatly weld a Ducati one some time ago that can't have been made out of anything better than the Guzzi's. You'll then have a spare one..............just in case!

Last time I dropped a bike, it was my Gootzie 750S3, it was my fault, the Gootzie was not as badly hurt as my pride AND I avoided damaging my comfortable Gay-earn boots. Dropping your Gootzie on your bootzie is a double whoopzie. What were you thinking of, Docc? I once dropped a Hinckley triple on my wife. She wasn't impressed, but her bootzies were OK. Not as bad as a former girlfriend, though, who reversed her car over her mother. I saw the signs, here, made excuses, and didn't see her again.

Congratulations! Enjoy.

You shouldn't go mixing with bad, cheesy, drunken French people, then. I think your comments about Americans are quite acute. I would also admit that we Europeans squabble even more than people on this forum. However, the Germans and the English can probably now run you close on Kentucky Fried fatarses. Also, it's kind of fun knowing more than one language..........but then don't you guys mostly speak Spanish, now? Or is that me getting crossed up with statistics again? He would bounce and they would all die.

If you're a Utilitarian, or consequentialist, and believe that the end justifies the means, it's simple. Otherwise, give up psychology and begin a philosophy course, Ben. It'll do you more good in the long run. It even allowed me to forgive you your comments about the French, for example!

Do you still like it, Chris? My dealer says I can ride one when I'm ready, so I'm looking forward to that. Going back to Ducatis, I have fond memories, spanning almost 20 years, of this beast. It looked right and by Christ it tramped along! I had the inlet ports opened, ran it on 40mm pumper Dellortos and stainless Conti replicas. It was an animal if you got corners wrong, however, despite all my experiments with shock absorber/tyre combinations/fork spacers and oil weights.........and I fell off it twice. A proper bike, then.

Yes, thanks, Jaap. Best forum full stop. No qualifiers.

When I last lived in East Yorkshire, paramedics used Pan Europeans for the same purpose.

No, pink is cool, and put some gold flakes in the final coat of laquer. A colour reserved for 1950s Triumph Speed Twins, surely?

No, hang on: I think it may be equally valid if we don't.

4 degrees C, bone-dry roads, sunshine, but frozen extremeties after 30 miles or so. Enjoyed it, though. Should have worn winter gloves and proper boots.

I don't think we're having a bike of the month: I think we're going to have the relativist of the month - get those photos in!

Congratulations, JRT. I suspect that Guzzi owners make the best parents, so Guzzi forum moderators.......well!

Boom boom!