Funny Guzzi Ebay Listing

[JackBoots]

Below is an Ebayer's description of the Quota that he's trying to sell.

 

I just had to laugh.

 

Vehicle Description

 

 

My Quota. Powercommanded and dynoed. 62 blazing horsepower/62 ft lb. Hard luggage included-top case and side cases. Cosmetically fair condition-paint is sun faded and has 60k worth of scratches,dings, and other flaws. Mechanically good condition. Ujoint is in good shape. Pro Taper bars. Very comfortable for distances. Old engine blew up. Complete motor replaced. Current motor has ~20k miles on it. Chassis has 60k on it. Front tire is getting thin- ~ 30% left. Rear tire is fine !70% left. Bike is a good runner and can be ridden across country tomorrow. PLEASE NOTE: If you are an anal-retentive yuppie BMW R1100/1200GS rider with every Starbucks within 50 miles of your house logged on your GPS or such similar motorcycle wacko, you wont want this bike and you should submerge your head under water completely for 5 minutes before contacting me for details on the maintenance history,mechanical ramifications of running 42 vs 45 psi in the tires or a complete uninterrupted gas mileage history Excel spreadsheet from the minute it left the dealer. This is bike is what we call "a rider". FORZA MOTO GUZZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ******************Here’s a little more information for the interested parties. NO. I don’t think you should take this bike 5000 miles up the Alaskan Al-Can Highway. I personally don’t think you should take ANY bike up that piece of God forsaken bear-infested road, let alone the CHEAPEST QUOTA IN THE UNITED STATES. PLUS, my crystal ball stopped working last week, so I can no longer predict the future, specifically the mechanical failures that will occur in the next 10,000 miles if you buy this, THE CHEAPEST QUOTA IN NORTH AMERICA. So you’re half way to Alaska and a tranny bearing dies and tears up a seal and blows oil all over your clutch, disabling the bike (hey-Shiite Happens). Unless you wanna drop the motor on the side of the road to fix it, you’re done. So you’re there for 4 hours before you see another car pass. You try to flag him down, but he obviously doesn’t want any company and keeps motoring on. “Sonofa…”. Meanwhile, those dark hulking shadows that you see in the distance seem to draw closer and closer…Then one day I get a call from your next of kin who say “ …but you said that the bike would make it…” I just do not need this type of mental baggage. I have had not one but TWO wacko wannabees ask about driving the bike to Alaska…it just boggles the mind. NO. This bike does not have extensive performance work. This engine is stock. You want performance? Buy a Yamaha R1. This is Guzzi’s 600 lb “dirtbike” with 60 hp out of an 1100 cc motor…more like a two wheeled station wagon with snow tires and about as much horsepower as a Yugo. HEY! I can fit $100 in groceries in the hard luggage, though, so it’s good for something. And NO you can’t stay on my couch for a few days while you tool around SoCal if you buy this, the CHEAPEST QUOTA IN THE UNIVERSE, from me. Two words: YMCA, dude. THANK YOU for the interest in the bike, and please keep the questions coming- I always need more material for my PhD dissertation on the Sociology of Internet Bike Weirdos. PS: Thank you ebay for the insertion fee sale which allows me to address all the dreamers out there in this, a very popular forum. This was well worth the $2 that it cost to insert it, and a few orders of magnitude cheaper than therapy. FORZA MOTO GUZZI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 12/08/07. Holy Toledo. 8500 hits. 150 watchers. ZERO BIDS!!!! Oh well. Add me to your "favorite sellers" list and we'll do this again real soon. Promise.

[Turpin Crock]

Excellent!

[BRENTTODD]

That is the best description i have ever seen. My hats off to that guy i hope he has a great F___ing day. Your the best buddy u will be on my fav sellers list

[Skeeve]

That is the best description i have ever seen. My hats off to that guy i hope he has a great F___ing day. Your the best buddy u will be on my fav sellers list

 

It's Ed Milich, one-half(?) of Guzzitech.com.

 

But yeah, it was truly a wonderful ad. Sure does make you appreciate the wonder of dual throttle bodies on our v11s, tho', doesn't it? Only 60 ponies? Ouch...

 

Ride on!

[Van]

very good indeed

l always wondered what happened to Ed Hertfelder......

This is one of those "truth in advertising" ads, like the South African ad for the Suzuki GSX 1000 RR where the guy says that the reason for sale was that when his wife said..."do what ever the f**k you want" apparantlly didn't mean what he thought it did....he he

Cheers

Van

[Van]

this ad might have been posted before, and l'm sure that you've all seen it but here goes...and l don't think that there's not one of us in a relationship of any length that can't relate......

AUTOTRADERAD.doc

[Turpin Crock]

http://www.v11lemans.com/forums/index.php?...ost&id=7261

 

Ebay produces some good comedy.

 

I posted this before but i think it is funny enough to get another run

[Skeeve]

this ad might have been posted before, and l'm sure that you've all seen it but here goes...and l don't think that there's not one of us in a relationship of any length that can't relate......

 

Yup, altho' on this side of the pond it originated in Kansas, not Jo'burg! I wonder of there's a Snopes entry for it? [too lazy to go look...]

[mike wilson]

very good indeed

l always wondered what happened to Ed Hertfelder......

 

He was still around until a few years ago. I tried to get hold of some of his "The Duct Tapes" books but the usual paranoia about releasing bank details scuppered it. Do a Gurgle on his name with "comedy". Should bring something up.