Richard Z Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 The ant and the grasshopper -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OLD VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MODERN VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat and the rain all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while he is cold and starving. CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing, 'It's Not Easy Being Green.' ACORN stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing,“We shall overcome.” Then Rev. Jeremiah Wright has the group kneel down to pray to God for thegrasshopper's sake.. President Obama condemns the ant and blames President Bush, President Reagan, Christopher Columbus, and the Pope for the grasshopper's plight. Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share. Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer. The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar and given to the grasshopper.. The story ends as we see the grasshopper and his free-loading friends finishing up the last bits of the ant’sfood while the government house he is in, which, as you recall, just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around them because the grasshopper doesn't maintain it. The ant has disappeared in the snow, never to be seen again. The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident, and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the ramshackle, once prosperous and once peaceful, neighborhood.. The entire Nation collapses bringing the rest of the free world with it. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote!!
Guest ratchethack Posted February 5, 2010 Posted February 5, 2010 I like it, Richard. But I'm afraid it's entirely too close to the truth by way of political incorrectness, my friend. And we just can't have that sort of thing here.
Richard Z Posted February 5, 2010 Author Posted February 5, 2010 I like it, Richard. But I'm afraid it's entirely too close to the truth by way of political incorrectness, my friend. And we just can't have that sort of thing here. I Luv You.. But not in a gay Way.... Ooops, posted this on the Ducati site... Who'd a thought they were Liberal Democrats....
Lex Posted February 6, 2010 Posted February 6, 2010 The ant and the grasshopper -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OLD VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold. MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MODERN VERSION MK II The Mr. Ant inherits billion dollar fortune from daddy. Mr. Grasshopper works hard but enjoys a modest life style and small but nice home. Ant uses immense wealth and right wing radio to convince millions of grasshoppers to vote for Bush and Republican Congress Ant gets even more wealth when Bush cuts taxes, allows his banks to make high profit but risky loans, export jobs off shore, removes restrictions from waste control on his pig farm and coal mines. Ant's banks lose huge amount of money, his income goes down 2%, government money bails him out. Grasshopper loses job, Grasshopper's wife loses job, son killed in pointless war in Iraq. With no income Grasshopper family can't make house payments. House is now worth less then loan because the market has collapsed and stream at edge of property is polluted with waste from pig farms and coal mines. Grasshopper and wife now broke and homeless, no government bailout money appears to help them. Grasshopper finds job paying minimum wage at Wallmart, not enough to rent home but allows them to buy food, living in car. Can't afford health insurance. Ant's pet radio propagandists convince gullible grasshoppers problems are all caused by Democrats and Grasshopper family is at fault for homelessness. Ant's income up 20%. Ant laughs himself sick over dumb, gullible grasshoppers. Ant send helicopter to fetch his personal physician to his 100 acre estate to check his health. Ant says to says to doctor: "This is the greatest country in the world! Look at me, I've never worked a day in my life and I have all this!" MORAL OF THE STORY: Be careful how you vote!!
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