Dementia Test

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

Your Yearly Dementia Test :

 

It's that time of year for us to take our annual senior citizen test.

 

 

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! Below is a very private way to gauge how your memory compares to the last test. Some may think it is too easy but the ones with memory problems may have difficulty. Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. The spaces below are so you don't see the answers until you've made your answer. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin..

 

1. What do you put in a toaster?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: 'bread.' If you said 'toast' give up now and do something else..

Try not to hurt yourself. If you said, bread, go to Question 2.

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. Say 'silk' five times. Now spell 'silk.' What do cows drink?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: Cows drink water. If you said 'milk,' don't attempt the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature such as Auto World. However, if you said 'water', proceed to question 3.

 

 

 

 

3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said 'green bricks,' why are you still reading these???

If you said 'glass,' go on to Question 4.

 

 

 

 

 

4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany ). Anyway, during the flight, two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the engine fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of 'no man's land' between East Germany and West Germany ... Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany , West Germany ,

 

Or no man's land'?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: You don't bury survivors.

If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, 'You don't bury survivors', proceed to the next question.

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to

 

Milford Haven in Wales .. In London , 17 people get on the bus.

In Reading , 6 people get off the bus and 9 people get on.

In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 get on.

In Cardiff , 11 people get off and 16 people get on.

In Swansea , 3 people get off and 5 people get on.

In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.

You then arrive at Milford Haven ..

 

 

Without scrolling back to review, how old is the bus driver?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Answer: Oh, for crying out loud!

Don't you remember your own age? It was YOU driving the bus!!

 

 

 

 

 

If you pass this along to your friends, pray they do better than you.

 

 

 

PS: 95% of people fail most of the questions!!

[Ralph Werner]

Well I'm only half demented according to your test - and according to almost all of my friends and family!

 

BTW cows do drink milk until they're weaned.

[The Monkey]

Rats, reminds me of my 2nd year of kindergarten. Where do I check in? Is the food any good?

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

BTW cows do drink milk until they're weaned.

 

They aren't cows until after they grow up. You're thinking of calves.

[Ralph Werner]

Dang! I just knew you would say that. In Ralph's Veterinary Dictionary it says that a calf is actually a baby cow. So there!

 

....and, you can put toast in the toaster if it wasn't done well enough.

 

....and if the survivers were all politicians I'd still bury 'em!

 

So now, if I could have remembered my age, I would have scored 100.

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

Dang! I just knew you would say that. In Ralph's Veterinary Dictionary it says that a calf is actually a baby cow. So there!

 

....and, you can put toast in the toaster if it wasn't done well enough.

 

....and if the survivers were all politicians I'd still bury 'em!

 

So now, if I could have remembered my age, I would have scored 100.

 

Now you've done it! The arguments will start and everything will spin out of control and then Jaap will have to shut it down!!!

[Guzzi2Go]

Dang! I just knew you would say that. In Ralph's Veterinary Dictionary it says that a calf is actually a baby cow. So there!

 

....and, you can put toast in the toaster if it wasn't done well enough.

 

....and if the survivers were all politicians I'd still bury 'em!

 

So now, if I could have remembered my age, I would have scored 100.

Can you quote a credible source to corroborate your theories? Like someone who wrote ten books on putting toast in toaster? Or at least an article in WSJ? And how do you know that baby cows are not baby bulls?

 

Inquiring mind...., you know...

[Ralph Werner]

And how do you know that baby cows are not baby bulls?

 

Once again I refer to Ralph's Veterinary Dictionary. Baby bulls have two things between the hind legs and baby cows have four baby hooters. Besides, baby bull calves also drink milk.

 

As far as a source for toast I must refer you to the top expert on this subject - Martha Stewart. She says "anytime a piece of bread come out of the toaster and only scores 1 or 2 on the brown scale it must be returned to the toaster for more browning even though it is technically toast".

 

I certainly hope that clears up everything.

 

BTW - burying politicians who are theoretically survivers needs no reference in my opinion.

[ferguzzi]

Cows will drink milk. Most adults will, although it wasn't the original idea, and goes a bit of the way towards explaining modern ill health. It's just too damn rich for people, or cows, to drink. So all that stuff about it being healthy for you is bull. sorry. as an adult anyway.

The japanese rarely drank milk as adults until quite recently( remember those stories about them being able to smell the allies in the jungles during ww2?, well the theory goes that it was the dairy in their diets). And the japs have always had one of the best diets of all. Milk should be banned. I hate it. Grrrrr.

[Guzzi2Go]

Milk should be banned. I hate it. Grrrrr.

What about toast?

[Skeeve]

Cows will drink milk. Most adults will, although it wasn't the original idea, and goes a bit of the way towards explaining modern ill health. It's just too damn rich for people, or cows, to drink. So all that stuff about it being healthy for you is bull. sorry. as an adult anyway.

 

He's not just whistling "Dixie" here, folks: if you do a linear regression & plot the incidence of adult onset diabetes against the per capita consumption of cow's milk, you get this wonderfully straight line. It's so perfect, it's used as an illustration in statistics textbooks.

 

Goats milk, people, goat's milk! That's the one to drink...

 

The japanese rarely drank milk as adults until quite recently

 

And lately their diabetes rate per capita has been climbing. I wonder if there's a correlation?

 

And the japs have always had one of the best diets of all.

 

Well, it widely seems to be the case that the impoverished eat a more healthful diet than the wealthy. Not talking about in America, where the poor idiotically spend all their income on eating at MickeyD's, but in agrarian societies in general. And until quite recently, the Japanese, as a culture, tended to adhere quite strictly to their traditional diet [which was that of a fairly poor country, as befitted the tenets of Buddhism which had been incorporated into that culture for a half dozen centuries or so...]

[Dan M]

As far as a source for toast I must refer you to the top expert on this subject - Martha Stewart. She says "anytime a piece of bread come out of the toaster and only scores 1 or 2 on the brown scale it must be returned to the toaster for more browning even though it is technically toast".

 

 

Nothing worse than raw toast.