Classic "Pete"icisms

[Skeeve]

Shamelessly lifted from over on GuzziTech:

 

 

Motorcycling has gone to the dogs! I reckon you should still have to bite the head off a live chicken or have sex with a rat before you're allowed to buy a bike. That would get rid of the riff-raff!

[pete roper]

Shamelessly lifted from over on GuzziTech:

 

 

 

 

Guzzitech seems to have more than its fair share of needy whiners and 'expert' fuquetards. I just get really shitty when you get some limp-wristed, lisping nonce who has gone and bought a bike without doing any research on the product, the dealership network or the laymans knowledge of the simplest aspects of owning a motorbike and then starts complaining that it isn't like his previous bike, why does he have to put air in the tyres and check the oil and how it's an outrage he can't get it in pink.

 

It's happening more and more, not just in the motorbike sphere but in society as a whole. Nobody wants to take any responsibility for their own actions and want to find someone to 'Blame' for their own stupidity.

 

As some of the contributors here who visit Guzzitech know there is also a sub-population of knuckle-draggers and mouth breathers who will ask a question and when someone gives them an answer they're told they are wrong by the questioner?? I mean?? WTF's that all about.

 

As I said in the other post nowadays every arse-puncher, pinhead and mono-neurone has a computer, can sort of type but still haven't learnt to think.

 

There are plenty of people with whom it's possible to disagree and still have a worthwhile exchange of knowledge with. Look at me and Hubert. I may sometimes disagree with him but I sure as shit respect his knowledge. Same with a couple of other people here and on other boards. The world would be a dull place if we all agreed and there was only one way to skin a cat.

 

The biggest issues we have in the west at the moment are caused by legislation that prevents idiots from killing themselves before they can breed. Stop protecting idiots from themselves! Let 'em play with loaded firearms in their living rooms while drunk! Abolish helmet laws! Seat belt laws! And encourage all severe risk-taking activities like ropeless bungy-jumping and skydiving without a parachute and crocodile wrestling. That would soon thin the herd!!!

 

Pete

[richard100t]

Pete makes a good point about the new generation of motorcycle owners. Unfortunately they are also the type of people that can end up being employed in the maintenance area of your local motorcycle dealership. I remember reading BFG's thread recently about the piss poor work that was done to his beautiful new, very expensive Italian motorcycle that I'm sure he worked long and hard to be able to own. Frankly I think he would have been better off taking it to a pie maker and letting him have a go at it.

This seems to be not limited to the motorcycling community. I have a feeling that its going to get much worse before the pendulum starts to swing back in the other direction.

Wether you're going to the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker...these days it will be in your best interest to know with whom you're dealing.

[Admin Jaap]

The other day I went to a Jap bike dealer to have my tyres put on. I needed some very normal hexagonal M8 x 30 bolts. I asked the counter dude and he looked at me stupidly: "Do you have a part number"?

 

Where do they find these guys and why, why do they hire them?

[mike wilson]

The other day I went to a Jap bike dealer to have my tyres put on. I needed some very normal hexagonal M8 x 30 bolts. I asked the counter dude and he looked at me stupidly: "Do you have a part number"?

 

Where do they find these guys and why, why do they hire them?

 

Wrong question. "Those guys" are everywhere and it is nearly impossible to sift them out. They even had one as POTUS recently. The correct question is "Why is there not someone available who can deal with me intelligently?"

[Admin Jaap]

The correct question is "Why is there not someone available who can deal with me intelligently?"

you are a mind reader, sir!

[Admin Jaap]

We should come up with a title as a (e)book with "Pete"icisms would sell! Any suggestions?

It sure would be a nice bedtime read.

"The biggest issues we have in the west at the moment are caused by legislation that prevents idiots from killing themselves before they can breed. Stop protecting idiots from themselves! Let 'em play with loaded firearms in their living rooms while drunk! Abolish helmet laws! Seat belt laws! And encourage all severe risk-taking activities like ropeless bungy-jumping and skydiving without a parachute and crocodile wrestling. That would soon thin the herd!!!"

What a thought to fall peacefully asleep with.

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

I think that Pete should start to market Yak fat too!

[Jamie]

"The biggest issues we have in the west at the moment are caused by legislation that prevents idiots from killing themselves before they can breed. Stop protecting idiots from themselves! Let 'em play with loaded firearms in their living rooms while drunk! Abolish helmet laws! Seat belt laws! And encourage all severe risk-taking activities like ropeless bungy-jumping and skydiving without a parachute and crocodile wrestling. That would soon thin the herd!!!"

 

These people are members of what my science community call 'The Darwin Awards' - those that take themselves out of the gene pool due to lack of brain meat.

[Skeeve]

The world would be a dull place if we all agreed and there was only one way to skin a cat.

 

Ah, but Pete, don't you see? There is only one way to skin a cat... with a knife! Beyond that restriction there's endless variation.

 

Now, you may get the occasional 'tard who'll argue "I've got a bit of sharp flint!" but they're missing the point that the bit of sharp flint is a subset of the category "knife..." What can you do? As the old saying goes, "wrestling with a pig just gets you both muddy. And the pig enjoys it." Illegitimus non carborundum, Pete!

[Skeeve]

We should come up with a title as a (e)book with "Pete"icisms would sell! Any suggestions?

 

How about "Straight Up from Down Under?" Or perhaps "Hullo, is that a 'roo in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" Nah, the second one is a better title for his memoirs from building his midget porn empire: I think the former is a better moniker for a book of his punditry.

 

It sure would be a nice bedtime read.

 

More likely, during "quality time" on the throne, but I agree with you in principle...

[The Monkey]

Mike Arman sold loads of paperback guides in the 70's and 80's dealing primarily with the Harley and its modifications. I know the target market was much larger but after reading Pete's review of the V11 bevel box with "Colin the Chook", I wouldnt hesitate to purchase a book or guide written by the man. Maybe a technical aide, hop up hints, experiences from Loop thru CARC. Not another Guzziology but more performance oriented, with some of his witicisms interspersed. That would be a fine addition to the Guzzi library.

[Guzzi2Go]

How about "Straight Up from Down Under?" .

Or "Up yours from Down Under"? ;-)

[Orson]

Regarding waxed cotton jackets:

 

F@cking hell. Waxed bleeding cotton! as a FASHION STATEMENT!

 

God give me strength! If there was ever an argument that the 'Good old days' were only good because they are over waxed cotton is the exemplar!

 

It's vile, it doesn't work very well at keeping water out, it smells, it is a lousy insulator and if you're living in a squat in Camden and despatch riding in the day the mice eat it while you're asleep.

 

The only people who would consider wearing waxed cotton by choice are the members of the British Royal Family who are of course a.) Horribly inbred and b.) German. So they should be treated with either pity or scorn depending on your viewpoint.

 

I rode from Belgium to Wales in March in the early '80's on my Triumph wearing these poxy, crap garments and the ONLY reason I'm still alive to tell the tale is because I had a bloody great great-coat and stuffed the inside of my Belstaff's with days old copies of the 'Sun' newspaper, ( A truly un-great Organ Of Record!) for extra insulation, but only after I'd carefully cut out all the pics of Samantha Fox's tits as if they's got cold I would of been crushed to death by her nipples!

 

Pete

[luhbo]

You guys are pressing Pete into a tough role.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U01xasUtlvw

 

Hubert