The Guys Rules

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

We're always hearing about girl's rules on dating, girl's rules on marriage, girl's rules on this, that and the other thing. Now it's our turn !

 

Guy's Rules:

 

1. Learn how to operate the toilet seat. You're a big girl now. If it's up, you put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us whine because you leave it down, do you ? And don't forget we also need to put it down sometimes, and we do it without over-exerting ourselves or getting frustrated.

 

2. Good weather = bike riding! It's like the full moon or tides. Deal with it !

 

3. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we will never see it that way.

 

4. Crying is blackmail.

 

5. Ask what you want. Subtle hints don't work. Obvious hints don't work. Just say it strait out !

 

6. Yes and No are perfectly reasonable answers to almost any question.

 

7. Come to us with a problem only if you want our help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what you have friends for.

 

8. A headache that lasts 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

9. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, anything after 7 days is null and void.

 

10. If you don't dress like a Victoria's Secret model, don't expect us to act like the guys in soap operas.

 

11. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

 

12. If something we say can be interpreted in two ways, and one of those ways upsets you, we meant the other one.

 

13. You may either ask us to do something or tell us how you'd like it done, but not both. If you already know the best way to do it, do it yourself.

 

14. At all times, please say all that you've got to say during commercials.

 

15. Christopher Columbus didn't need any help to find his way, and niether do we.

 

16. ALL men see in 16 colors, like Windows default colors. Peach, for example, is a fruit, and so is Pumpkin. We don't have a clue what Mauve is.

 

17. If it itches, it will be scratched. Period.

 

18. If we ask you what's wrong and you reply "Nothing", we will assume nothing is wrong. We know you're lying, but it's not worth the effort to insist.

 

19. If you ask a question you don't want answered, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

20. When we go out, anything you wear is OK. Really.

 

21. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you're willing to discuss subjects like motorcycles, sex, hockey, sex, football, or sex. Did I mention sex ?

 

22. You have enough clothes.

 

23. You have too many shoes.

 

24. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

 

25. Thank you for reading this. Yes, we know we'll be sleeping on the couch tonight, but did you know it really doesn't bother us ? It's like camping out...

 

Please pass this on to as many men as possible to make them laugh. Please also pass this on to as many women as possible to educate them !!!

[antonio carroccio]

Jim, one more of this and we will ban you out...

[tikkanen]

 

 

You're so right, Jim.......

 

Have you ever heard a bloke say: "Do I like look fat in this Dainese suiit?"

[Martin Barrett]

Have you ever heard a bloke say: "Do I like look fat in this Dainese suiit?" 

 

Cant get my BKS leathers on, shrunk in the wardrobe. That why I now wear textile(couldn't bring myself to buy more leathers) 18 months on they still don't fit must try harder

[robbiekb]

funny that, my leathers all shrank at exactly the same time that my bike got slower as if it had suddenly gotten heavier...maybe i should go back to lighter oil ?

 

Jim the answer to the talk during commercials thing is TIVO .. TIVO has savedf more relationships than i can count !

[dlaing]

Shouldn't this be in technical articles?

[kenr]

[kenr]

[jrt]

Damn, I don't know who or what you guys are married to...but damn.

Male flatmates have *always* been more of a pain than females.

 

/long winter already......

[Guest Bruce]

41022[/snapback]

 

"There are two theories to arguing with a woman... neither works" Will Rodgers