My name is Bob, and I am Canadian.

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

My name is Bob, and I am Canadian.

 

I am a minority in Vancouver, Banff, and every casino in this country.

 

I was born in 1972, yet I am responsible for some native's great great grandfather

who screwed himself out of his land in the 1800's.

 

I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.

 

I am allowed to skydive and smoke (sometimes) , but not allowed to drive without a seat belt.

 

All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes.

 

I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant. These same people cannot name this country's new territory.

 

Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft dinner and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well

knowing that I've helped purchase a nice six figure home in Vancouver for some unskilled refugee.

 

Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate, Quebec still provides my nation's prime ministers.

 

95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.

 

I'm supposed to call black people African Canadians, although I'm sure none

of them have ever been to Africa, or east of Halifax for that matter.

 

I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.

 

I believe that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.

 

Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.

 

I often badmouth the United States and then vacation there three times a year.

 

I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn't support or recognize the English language.

 

I'm led to believe that some lazy ass unionized broom pusher who makes $30 an hour is underpaid and therefore must go on strike, but paying $10 an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at forty below on an oil rig is fair.

 

I believe that paying $30 million for 3 Stripes ("The Voice of Fire") by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever see it.

 

When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than the Americans."

 

I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry because I control the rain.

 

My national anthem has versions in both official languages and I don't know either of them.

 

Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.

 

I am not an angry white male. I am an angry taxpayer who is broke.

 

My name is Bob, and I am Canadian.

[TX REDNECK (R.I.P.)]

Hey Bob !

 

[Ralph Werner]

As my hero Thomas Jefferson once said: "I am not a friend to a very energetic government. It is always oppressive."

[badmotogoozer]

I thought your name was Jim...

 

Rj

[Admin Jaap]

My name is Bruce and I'm an Aussie

 

I'm not allowed to use the word "mate" anymore

[belfastguzzi]

I am Spartacus

[Martin Barrett]

I'm Spartacus

[mikie]

I feel your pain, JimBob. I moved back to the States from Alberta 10 years ago, and haven't looked back.

[badmotogoozer]

I am Spartacus

58432[/snapback]

 

 

It's spelled "smartass"...

 

Rj

[Steve G.]

I am so in agreement! Only ten fold more!

Ciao, Steve G.

[TX REDNECK (R.I.P.)]

On a related note it looks like Canada is fixing to flex its military muscle. Bring in the U.N. before its too late

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4175446.stm

[hgravelpha@aol.com]

Stop your fricken winning. I will rather pay my taxes and live in a safe country than not pay any taxes (maybe) and live in a second or third world country. If you do not like it, immigrate to a less oppressive country than Canada (maybe somewhere in Africa). I'm not a Canadian. I grew up in a third world country until I was eight. I was six when the war ended and seen things that a child should never see. Since that time, I have been to many countries and have seen first hand how great we have it in North America (yes, even Mexico). I served my country (USA) on several occasions and have no problem paying my fair share in taxes. I'm educated enough (B.S. Business, MBA, MSOD) to understand that any real society, people must pay for services provided by their government.

 

Ride safe and enjoy life.............oh and pay your taxes

 

Ranting - Done

[dlaing]

Hi,

My name is Brad and I live in Orange County.

I am a minority in occupied North Baja California.

I was born a rich spoiled brat and I vote Republlican.

I pay taxes that go to enrich dirty corporations that give kickbacks to politicians and the media.

I am allowed to ride a motorcycle but the damn Liberals make me wear a helmet.

All the money I make until mid July goes into tax shelters in the Cayman Islands.

My last girlfriend said I was an ignorant zenophobe....whatever that is.

Some of my families companies hire people from Mexico who don't have a pot to piss in.

We give them good jobs, Bushes to piss in, and then I lobby to have them deported.

95% of my nation's conflicts in the past five years have involved conflicts based on lies in which many innocent and ignorant die for corporate greed or too fullfill Biblical prophesy.

I am a persecuted Christian, because they try to stop tax payers from paying for my religious symbols maintainance and display on taxpayer owned lands.

I believe in eliminating taxes that don't go to building up the military or providing corporate welfare.

I think the environment is indestructible.

I have no idea what what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave me when I was 14, or what happened to the little girl with pigtails that laughed at me.

I work hard to block Unions from infiltrating my places of employment because I want to protect my workers from half way decent wages.

I tried to bid on Barnett Newman's "The Voice of Fire" at Sotheby's but the damn Socialist Canadian Government outbid me, and got it for 1.8 Million CDN, not 30Million as my Cousin Bob McKensie suggested, although those were 1990 dollars and the value of the painting has outperformed the stock market

I love it when my corporations get tax breaks in Millions from just a few hundred thousand dollars in political donations. My corporate farms have squashed small farmers all over the country so they can get a 'real life'.

My cousin Bob says Canada is the number one destination for fleeing terrorist (probably mostly from the IRA). So, I am going to lobby the Gubernator to invade Canada.

I am not an angry white male, but I act like one when I go hunting Mexicans at the border.

My name is Brad, and I am a spoiled American.

Did I mention that I don't mind paying a hundred dollars to fill my humvee, as long as we reduce the tax on it?

[Guzzirider]

On a related note it looks like Canada is fixing to flex its military muscle. Bring in the U.N. before its too late

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/4175446.stm

58453[/snapback]

 

 

Is this going to end up like South Park The Movie?

 

 

http://www.moviesounds.com/sp/adams.wav

[John in Leeds]

Great stuff Dlaing - you certainly bought a smile to my face.

 

BTW Bob, as a Canadian do you have to do the flag saluting stuff?