dlaing Posted August 26, 2005 Posted August 26, 2005 Brian: I'm *not* the Messiah! Woman: Only the true Messiah denies his divinity. Brian: What? Well what sort of chance does that give me then? Alright, I am the Messiah! Crowd: The Messiah! The Messiah! Brian: Right. Now f*ck off! *silence for a moment* Man in crowd: How shall we f*ck off, oh Lord?
dlaing Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 Bob Good day, I'm Bob McKenzie and this is my brother Doug! Doug How's it goin', eh? Bob Today the topic is taxes. Go, eh! Doug Okay, like it's April right? So like Canadians are supposed to do their taxes this month, eh? Bob And Americans, too. Doug Wha? Bob They do theirs on the 15th. Doug Of April? Bob Yeah. Doug Geez. We get until the 30th. Bob Yeah, talk about cheezwiz, eh? Doug Why don't they have 15 more days like we do? Bob I dunno. Maybe something to do with the strength of their beer. Doug So Canadian beer is stronger so we're more drunk and need more time to finish our taxes? Bob Yeah, something like that. Doug Okay, that makes sense. So anyway, like this month we do our taxes. Well, we don't do our taxes, we don't make any money. Bob Not legally, at least. Doug Take off! You're not supposed to tell them about how we bootleg movies! Bob Wha? I didn't tell them we bootleg movies! YOU just did! Doug Oops. Bob Think the cops are reading this? Doug Naw, they're too busy at the donut shop. Bob Yeah. Doug Okay, all cops at donut shops, like take off! You go in there at like three in the morning just before we do and like you take all the good donuts right so all that's left are the weird ones like jelly filled. Bob Hey, those aren't weird! I like them! Doug Yeah well then that makes you weird, too. Bob Take off. Doug So anyway, all cops should buy like croissants or stuff we don't eat and leave the donuts for us right? And another thing, like you're supposed to be fighting crime right so like don't give us any more speeding tickets cause like we're in a hurry sometimes to get to the beer store and if it weren't illegal we'd have flashing lights and sirens on our van right so like take off. Bob Hey, I thought we were talking about taxes! Doug We are! Bob Then how did it become a discussion of cops? Doug Cause like we were talking about our movie bootlegs and hoping the cops wouldn't find out. Bob Hey, stop talking about the bootlegs! Doug Oh sorry, eh! Bob Well geez. Doug Okay, like if we did make any money... Bob Which we don't. Doug ...then we'd be doing our taxes this month. And like you need the forms and stuff from the post office, eh! Bob So like how come they send guys with shorts on to deliver the mail but can't deliver the forms to us? Doug Maybe they send it to people who've done their taxes before, I don't know. We don't do our taxes, cause we have no income. Bob No legal income. Doug Take off, you're not supposed to talk about that! Bob Sorry, eh! Doug Um. So like then you get the forms and have to figure out where all the numbers and stuff are supposed to go and if there's a beer credit or something and then you add and subtract and multiply and divide and stuff right and like it's real hard eh and then you find out you owe the government money so you change your name and move to like Lethbridge or someplace like that so the revenue cops won't find you, eh! Bob Revenue cops? Lethbridge?! Doug Yeah! Bob Beauty! Hey, you didn't change your name, did you? Like you're really my brother, right? Doug If I weren't really your brother, then I wouldn't admit to it, eh! Bob Oh, beauty! Hey, wait a minute... Doug So anyway, that's how we do our taxes. If we did our taxes. Bob But we have no income so we don't have to. Doug Well, no legal income. Bob Take off, you hoser!
GuzzTim Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 My name's Tim and I'm Canadian.. For a "Quiz Canada" point, name the three people in the attached photo.. and no, they're not Shania Twain's parents.
GuzzTim Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 at their age I don't think "rush" is an appropriate adjective... "hobble" perhaps....
jrt Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 What's going on- sunspots? Everyone is a little punchy it seems. Cheers, Spartacus
belfastguzzi Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 My name's Tim and I'm Canadian.. For a "Quiz Canada" point, name the three people in the attached photo.. and no, they're not Shania Twain's parents. 58739[/snapback] Joni Mitchel and Neil Young brush up on their golfing technique with a lesson from renowned Canadian stickman, Al Balding of Mississauga, Ontario.
belfastguzzi Posted August 27, 2005 Posted August 27, 2005 What's going on- sunspots? Everyone is a little punchy it seems. 58750[/snapback] It's the evil influence of Jeremy
GuzzTim Posted August 28, 2005 Posted August 28, 2005 C'mon you BC boys, I know this trio is from the opposite coast but surely you've heard of them??? btw.. the family did the National Lampoon road trip from San Fran to Whistler a couple of weeks back.. It was so great to be in BC again.. Spent a wonderful week in Whistler and called in on a friend in West Van on the way back.. BC rocks !!!
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