Who's the funniest one of all

[Martin Barrett]

could someone tell me what they are saying. Serious translation services needed.

   

http://www.killsometime.com/Video/video.asp?ID=353

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The second man was recounting the time he tried to make love to his wife without getting her out the wheelchair and caught his testicles in the spokes

[belfastguzzi]

I'm looking forward to that... I't be good to see the real McCoy.

78509[/snapback]

 

Ah, wondered what the full name is. Colin McCoy.

Now what's the Social Security snitchline number?

[DeBenGuzzi]

I'm really going for the gustow now.

 

Oil Change instructions for Guzzist:

 

1) Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner, write a check for $50.00.

2) Stop by liquor store and buy a case of beer, write a check for $20.00, drive home.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Spend 30 minutes freeing up space to jack up motorcycle.

5) Forgot to use antiseize last time oil was changed.

6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7) Place drain pan under engine.

8) Look for proper socket.

9) Give up and use alligator socket you got off the TV.

10) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on face and arms in process. Cuss.

11) wipe hot oil off of face and arms.

12) Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14) Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15) Give up and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16) get up dripping oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Decide to finish oil change tomorrow so you can go see his new garage door opener work.

18) Sunday: Skip church because "I gotta finish the oil change." Drag pan full of old oil out from underneath bike. Cleverly dump oil in hole in back yard instead of taking it to recycle.

19) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.

20) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

21) Walk to liquor store; buy beer.

22) Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

23) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

24) Remember drain plug from step 10.

25) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

26) Remember that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard along with drain plug.

27) Drink beer.

28) Shovel out hole and sift oily mud for drain plug. Re-shovel oily patch of ground and avoid environmental penalties. Wash drain plug in lawnmower gas.

29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

30) Drink beer.

31) Strip a bolt

33) Begin cussing fit.

34) Throw stupid socket wrench.

35) Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left boob.

36) Beer.

38) Beer.

39) Beer.

40) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

41) Beer.

42) Lower bike from jack.

44) Move bike back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during steps 23

45) Beer.

46) Test drive bike

47) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

48) bike gets impounded.

49) Call loving wife, make bail.

50) 12 hours later, get bike from impound yard.

 

Money spent: Parts $50.00 DUI $2500.00 Impound fee $75.00 Bail $1500.00

Beer $40.00 Total-- $4165.00

 

But, you have the satisfaction of knowing the job was done right...

 

Give me a break it was supposed to be a rednecks quide to change a cars oil.

[Van]

WARNING !!!!

This is NOT for the faint of heart !!

you have been warned

[Van]

WARNING !!!!

This is NOT for the faint of heart !!

you have been warned

79869[/snapback]

 

Ok, so l fouled up!! l wanted to share a video clip of David Hasselhof singing "Hooked on a feeling" but l gues that my F.R.E.D. (f**king ridiculous electronic device) won't allow me to post items of such obvious poor taste..

oh well, some things are just better un-viewed l guess..

Cheers

van

[dlaing]

Ok, so l fouled up!!  l wanted to share a video clip of David Hasselhof singing "Hooked on a feeling" but l gues that my F.R.E.D. (f**king ridiculous electronic device) won't allow me to post items of such obvious poor taste..

oh well, some things are just better un-viewed l guess..

Cheers

van

79874[/snapback]

Just click on the vomiting happy face

 

 

[TX REDNECK (R.I.P.)]

 

Give me a break it was supposed to be a rednecks quide to change a cars oil.  :

 

 

[mdude]

Just click on the vomiting happy face

 

79878[/snapback]

 

 

doh, you just made another happy face vomit....

[felix42o]

Oil Change instructions for Guzzist:

 

 

 

That would be a lot funnier if it wasn't so close to the truth.

 

Sort of parallels my rectifier change!