who's the biggest dumb ass?

[Tim]

Thought I'd start a new thread with a confession

 

A couple of weeks ago (and, needless to say, when in a bit of a hurry) I got on the V11, switched on the ignition, thumbed the start button and...nothing.

 

Quick mental check of possible faults - couldn't think of anything obvious so tried again...still nothing.

 

tried once more - yet again nothing

 

Sinking feeling starts c/w thoughts of missed appointments, breakdown recovery calls, time spent fault finding etc etc.

 

 

I sat there for a few minutes, by now resigned to my day having gone tits up

 

 

then I realised - jeez - I hadn't pulled the clutch in! (I have owned the bike for quite a while so no excuse there). Needless to say the old boot fired up straightaway.

 

Doh!

 

So the big question is - am I on my own here or are there other "forum fools" out there?

[dlaing]

I did about 30 meters of push starts once, only to find that someone had turned my kill switch off.

[Guzzirider]

If we are honest I bet we have all done similar things- my best one was getting off my Jackal after forgetting to kick down the sidestand- I rolled about 10 feet with an audience of neighbours clapping and cheering.

 

Luckily the crash bars prevented any major damage to the bike.

 

Guy

[Guest Nogbad]

Years ago I ran my car battery down trying to start it after a service, and it wasn't until I went to find my battery charger that I noticed the rotor arm sitting on the bench!

[Frenchbob]

I once amused the locals outside a bar on the Costa Blanca by attempting to set off while the rear wheel was still chained to a bollard. It is a testimony to the strength of Guzzi alloy wheels that the only damage was to my left leg [very slight] and to my dignity [very much].

 

You see, we're all the same...........DUMB!

[jihem]

i was riding my ex T3 Calif, and a friend was following on his 888. Arriving at a crossroad, i jump off the bike and run a few meters to my friend who had just stopped, to tell him something.

 

I somehow totally forgot to put the side-stand on Big Mama, and she was there, on her side, with the huge footrests of the Calif serving as side-stand

 

[not_scooter_Scura!]

OK OK

 

Trying to kick & push start a Kawasaki KR1 for 1/2 hour, frantically running & jumping on the bike in a gravel carpark

 

....tired

 

..... sweaty

 

....."I could kill someone!"

 

...... err or I could flick over the "kill" switch

[DeBenGuzzi]

OK OK

 

Trying to kick & push start a Kawasaki KR1 for 1/2 hour, frantically running & jumping on the bike in a gravel carpark

 

....tired

 

..... sweaty

 

....."I could kill someone!"

 

...... err or I could flick over the "kill" switch 

79340[/snapback]

this is exactly the reason I don't ever use my kill switch but is part of my mental check now when she won't start

I tend to do the click it in gear with the sidestand down sometimes more than once in a sitting

[TX REDNECK (R.I.P.)]

I took off with the steering locked on a CL350

[Guest golden goose]

Smitten with this petite, extremely attractive receptionist at a large company I started at about 5 years ago , I found her outside sitting near the fountain as I was heading somewhere one fine midday. I took the cover off my shiny BMW R11S, packed it away while the donk warmed up a bit. She was watching as I fisnished putting on my helmet and dropped the bike off the centerstand, revved the bike and took off. I went precisely 1/2 a front wheel revolution before the big disc brake-lock I had clamped on it that morning when I parked it closed with the calipers. The bike stopped and we both rolled over.

 

Haven't used one of those bloody things since.

[DeBenGuzzi]

Smitten with this petite, extremely attractive receptionist at a large company I started at about 5 years ago , I found her outside sitting near the fountain as I was heading somewhere one fine midday.  I took the cover off my shiny BMW R11S, packed it away while the donk warmed up a bit.  She was watching as I fisnished putting on my helmet and dropped the bike off the centerstand, revved the bike and took off.  I went precisely 1/2 a front wheel revolution before the big disc brake-lock I had clamped on it that morning when I parked it closed with the calipers.  The bike stopped and we both rolled over. 

 

Haven't used one of those bloody things since.

79356[/snapback]

oooowwwwwwiieeee

your rotors ok then? or just your pride suffered.

[Dr Gil]

I hesitate to contribute to this thread because I fear that indeed, I am "the biggest dumb ass."

 

I had taken my just recently rebuilt Le Mans down the DMV to have the VIN #'s verified and to get the salvage title on it. During the search for the VIN numbers the DMV guy poked, prodded and tugged at the wiring harness along the steering column trying to get a good peek and the numbers there. My mission finally accomplished I headed back out into the parking lot with my new license plates in hand...I was happy. The Guzzi was offically back on the road...no, wait a minute no it's not.

 

I turned on the key, got dashboard lights, had the sidestand up and hit the start button. Nothing. Nada. Zip. I went through the procedure MANY times with the same result. So I know that the DMV guy loosened some sort of fundamental connection somewhere in the bowels of my bike. I have no fear anymore about taking the bike apart but in the DMV parking lot with only the MG tool kit I'm a little hesitant to do so...but I give it a good go checking every connection I can reach without taking off plastic. Still nothing.

 

So I belong to the AMA's Motow program so I call them and jump through the hoops to get a tow truck to haul it to my tumble down garage where hopefully (and with you guys help) sort it out properly. I waited 1/2 hour for the tow. I continued to fiddle with the bike...suddenly I notice that my "kill switch" on the handlebars has been tripped. I never use the kill switch, I've trained myself to simply use the key. Of course, I toggled the kill switch and the mighty Guzzi sprang to life. I quickly called up Motow and canceled the tow.

 

See what I mean...embarrassingly the "biggest dumb ass."

[Ouiji Veck]

Once a millenium ago my Chevy Nomad wouldn't fire up.

I was late for work of course....

Suspected it wasn't getting enough juice to the starter so I jacked up

the front end enough to crawl under with jumper cables...

stuck 'em on the starter...she fired right up....in REVERSE...

front wheel went over my shoulder and I came up jumper cabel in hand

still connected to the battery...Held onto the cables like a bridle as the nomad

backed into my neighbors 65 Impala repeatedly....bam bam bam...

[callison]

Truly Stupid Things To Do With A Motorcycle

 

Gentleman, I swear that all of the stories here - "Truly Stupid Things To Do With A Motorcycle" Parts 1 through 3 and the "Chris, Bronson and the Bonnie" are true stories. Names have not been changed to protect the identity of the dumb-asses involved. No dumb-asses were actually harmed in the process of claiming their moment of non-glory however, none of the dumb-asses involved escaped without a healthy dose of humility.

 

In 1971, Chris had already acheived his level of notoriety locally but was by no means the only person in Riverside, California that demonstrated levels of dumbassity normally associated with the totally clueless. Chris had a friend named Ross that lived in an apartment that had no garage but did have a car-port that covered one of his most prized possesions - a Velocette Thruxton belonging to his late father. One morning, very early in the A.M., Ross heard a "Thump - Crash - EEEYYAAGGHH!!!". Ross jumped out of bed, ran to the carport and there, over the Thruxton, was a motorcycle thief - with his head and part of his torso stuck through the carport roof! After the Fire Department removed the somewhat damaged young man from the roof and administered first aid, the police hauled him off to jail. If you're going to steal a high-compression single cylinder motorcycle, you'd best know how to properly kick-start it!

[belfastguzzi]

oh goodey

Did I ever mention the time when next door's cat was sleeping contentedly beside the V11 and I forget that the bike doesn't have a kick-start?

 

I hope that this thread is going to be like that other one, the one where people were putting their heads into oil drilling machinery and holding broken driveshafts together with their teeth, not realising that years of sucking on sugar-cola were about to lead to sudden and dramatic consequence?

Brits were breaking fingernails all over the place and the 'Mericans were losing ears and noses in freakish air-con fan accidents or having their legs off when all they meant to do was buff some dried egg off their jeans with the 9'' angle grinder they just happpened to have in their hands at the time.

 

Forgot to put your sidestand down before getting off your bike, Englander boys?

That's nothing: was it Crazee-boy Callison who forgot to get off his bike – before getting into his neighbour's car?