Serge's Forum

[belfastguzzi]

I didn't finish the previous dozen writing projects I started..

85379[/snapback]

Ok, don't fret. It really isn't too hard.

What you need to do is get a copy of Driving over Lemons, I'm sure there's one on your shelves somewhere. Copy it but everywhere he says Spain, substitute the word France and everywhere that he mentions lemons, change it to chickens. That should do it. By next timber-gathering season, you should be rich enough to buy in chopped twigs from China.

 

As a back-up, you should purchase one of those internets. I believe that you can make a fortune with that thing. I guess you could fit one in your barn and experiment of an evening.

 

Here, I've done the book cover for you. You might as well do the follow-up while you're at it. It's 'Chicken in a Chestnut Tree'.

 

[dlaing]

These are good ideas, but.....

 

I didn't finish the previous dozen writing projects I started...I always end up in the garage, "thinking"...

Winter fuel is cut and collected the previous winter, alas! [no guests then] Ever on the ball, I'm just about to cut next year's...

The third one contains the word "teaching"............................! [pauses to take a fortifying sip]

 

There's no room for a YMCA in the barn anyway: it's full of ancient French furniture, ancient bikes, ancient agricultural implements, ancient, dismantled lathe, chickens [recent], etc

 

Your fee has been dispatched by carrier hen.

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[Frenchbob]

Thanks, Belfast. I'm touched by your efforts [or just touched, if you're listening to 'er indoors] with the cover. From your handwriting, I deduce that you are a physicist.... No applause, please! My son's a physicist and he writes exactly like that.

 

Prozac?

 

We have a proper health service, here, and my doctor's response to being reminded of the alarming amounts of alcohol that I take instead of Prozac was to get my liver checked out to see if it's handling it OK. It is. This was done as a priority, within a few days of me consulting him because he knows how thirsty I get.

[belfastguzzi]

Handwriting?

It's a computer.

 

BTW, I meant to turn the lemons on the cover into chickens, but forgot.

Don't you forget, as it's essential to tie in with the title. Also, people might think they're buying Driving over Lemons. Hang on... that might be the answer...

[Frenchbob]

Very kind, but I think I'd prefer to be driving over the authors of expat "Don't you wish you were here well let me tell you how good it is since we've established that you can't be or you wouldn't be reading this wank.." books. If it was THAT good for them they'd just shut up and get on with enjoying it, er, like I do.....?

 

Put it another way, NO amount of money would make me:

 

- attract any more expat Brits to an area I think so much of

- betray my French friends and neighbours in print

 

Meanwhile, the sun is shining [or it was a few hours ago], Serge is feeling frisky and has two new girls to beguile, the V11 is fruity.......and I've picked up a screw in the rear tyre that hisses when you poke at it: aaaaaarrrrgh! Yes, I can repair it. No, I won't be happy until I've replaced the tyre. Yes, they're bloody expensive. Where's my fountain pen?

[Martin Barrett]

.......and I've picked up a screw in the rear tyre that hisses when you poke at it: aaaaaarrrrgh! Yes, I can repair it. No, I won't be happy until I've replaced the tyre. Yes, they're bloody expensive. Where's my fountain pen?

85487[/snapback]

 

I also had a screw in the rear at the begining of the year. As I had new rubber I was in the quandary. My preference has previously been to replace. A decision that is easier with older tyres.

On this occasion I went for some ultraseal goop, It sealed the puncture and I've got no adverse reports. £25 verses £200 no contest really. I'm not sure I would add it as a matter of course as insurance, but might carry a bottle as well as my mushrooms and inflation capsles when touring.

[belfastguzzi]

NO amount of money would make me:

 

-  attract any more expat Brits to an area I think so much of

 

Where's my fountain pen?

85487[/snapback]

When I went to look for the book cover pic, hundreds (almost) of tourist sites came up, based on the 'fame' that the book has brought to the Alpujarras.

Strange that this site has had the exact opposite effect and killed the V.11 stone dead.

 

It's in the top drawer.

[dlaing]

Prozac?

We have a proper health service, here, and my doctor's response to being reminded of the alarming amounts of alcohol that I take instead of Prozac was to get my liver checked out to see if it's handling it OK. It is. This was done as a priority, within a few days of me consulting him because he knows how thirsty I get.

85462[/snapback]

Better to kill your liver with Vino than to kill your libido with Prozac.

... better still, just ride.

[Frenchbob]

Libido?

 

Oh, yes...I think I remember.

 

Martin, this is my problem precisely: recently new tyre. I've done a tubeless repair on it but I think I'll look for some Ultraseal to add as well, if it'll do no harm. Thanks.

[Frenchbob]

Strange that this site has had the exact opposite effect and killed the V.11 stone dead.

 

It's in the top drawer.

85505[/snapback]

 

So it is.

 

The V11 is dead: long live the V11! Tant mieux. Let's face it, the spares situation is unlikely to get WORSE. My dealer is very happy to buy any second-hand ones he sees. Dinosaurs are supposed to be extinct, anyway.

[Martin Barrett]

So it is.

 

The V11 is dead: long live the V11! Tant mieux. Let's face it, the spares situation is unlikely to get WORSE. My dealer is very happy to buy any second-hand ones he sees. Dinosaurs are supposed to be extinct, anyway.

85540[/snapback]

 

Crocodiles and chickens a tangible link to dinosaurs, so there's hope for Guzzis hanging on despite the evolutionary process.

[Guest Nogbad]

I also had a screw in the rear at the begining of the year.

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Did it hurt?

Did you enjoy it?

Does your wife know?

[Martin Barrett]

Did it hurt?

Did you enjoy it?

Does your wife know?

85553[/snapback]

 

It didn't hurt.

No I didn't enjoy it. I found it a rather deflating experience. Though a satisfactory outcome.

Yes, I was home for lunch unexpectedly And she was able to read all about it on this very forum. The secret to a good relationship is communication.

[helicopterjim R.I.P.]

It didn't hurt.

No I didn't enjoy it. I found it a rather deflating experience. Though a satisfactory outcome.

Yes, I was home for lunch unexpectedly And she was able to read all about it on this very forum. The secret to a good relationship is communication.

85564[/snapback]

 

 

I've been trying that for some time now!! How did you get her to the trough (no pun intended for any woman)?

[Frenchbob]

Since this is Serge's forum, and he isn't available right now [he's in the field, Belfast, not in the pot], I feel duty bound to take over as assistant moderator.

 

So, er....that's quite enough of that!